Now you’re feeling sleepy…

I had my first experience of hypnotherapy yesterday.  This isn’t the first time I’ve tried complementary medicine as I’ve tried counselling, chiropractic, reflexology, acupuncture, homeopathy, and kinesiology, to name but a few.  I like to keep an open mind and give things a chance.  Something might look far-fetched on paper but may just gel with me in practise.

At this point in time I don’t feel it’s made any difference, however anything I’ve eaten or drank since has made me feel nauseous.  This would be fine if I had gone there hoping for a session in curbing my food intake, but as I was hoping for some alleviation of stress I’m not sure nausea is a positive side effect.

I’m currently suffering, among other things, adrenal fatigue.  This makes me produce far more cortisol than I need so I’m in a constant state of fight or flight.  I’m at the point where normal every day noises make me jumpy, like a car door closing or a phone ringing.  It was suggested to me that hypnotherapy might help to calm and relax me a bit so I was keen to try it.

The therapist was very nice and polite, and I felt we had a nice chat beforehand.  Then he did what he called part one of the hypnosis.  During that time I was totally aware of everything.  I wasn’t able to “go off” into another place like a sandy beach or quiet woodland.  All I could see with my eyes closed were my eyelids.  I could hear the normal goings on outside of cars and people, as well as the music he had playing in the room.  And of course I could hear his voice talking to my unconscious.  Unfortunately my conscious never left the conversation.

Inside my body what I felt was increased stress.  My heart hurt from the pressure of the stress and it was almost like every part of my insides were scrunched up like a ball of paper and tightening at his every word.  After he asked me to open my eyes and tell me what I experienced he said not to worry as that was only part one of the treatment.  I figured maybe this was normal for some so took comfort in that.

Then again he asked me to close my eyes while he spoke to my unconscious.  Again all I felt was extreme stress and tightness everywhere.  After asking me to open my eyes he seemed a bit surprised at my experiences but said I might see some improvement over time.  In fact, he commented that it was a shame I didn’t have a partner who would probably see the improvements in me more than I would see it, but on hindsight I’m not sure how someone outside my being would be able to notice my ability to relax any better than I would.

The appointment was due to last 3 hours, but it was after 2.5 hours that he said that was all and that I was free to go.  I didn’t think anything of it at the time as figured maybe some clients have more to talk about than others.

When I left what I felt was anger, mostly at myself for not doing it right because I couldn’t relax enough to let the treatment happen.  But also I felt more depressed.  I’ve suffered depression for many years which comes and goes, but in recent weeks I’ve been on a bit of a downturn.  When I got home I laid on the sofa for the rest of the day feeling very low and very angry.  Despite knowing I needed to eat as it was time, I just couldn’t face food as I was so low.

It wasn’t until about 24 hours later that my anger changed from being angry at me for not doing it right to angry at him for not being honest with me.  I have no doubt he’s a learned person in hypnotherapy and that he has many satisfied clients, but for some reason the treatment couldn’t or wouldn’t work for me.  Perhaps it’s because I’m ever so wound up and stressed that made it impossible for my conscious mind to take a break long enough for my unconscious mind to benefit from the treatment.

He’s done this treatment probably thousands of times so would be fully experienced to know what to expect at every point in the therapy.  I work in accounts and if I haven’t received a purchase order from a client before my company is prepared to deliver work, I’m experienced enough to reach out to the client to let them know what my expectations are in obtaining the purchase order.

He must have known the treatment wasn’t panning out well.  I would have been more than happy if he had stopped at any point and said it wasn’t working and it’s likely to do with my very stressed and sensitive nature.  By no means was I looking for anything for free, but even to say he’d charge me a nominal fee for that first part of the therapy rather than carrying on with something that isn’t working would have been a lot more honest and showed caring.

Another option would have been to say he had never experienced anyone with adrenal fatigue and the intense stress that goes with it, and that maybe he could to do some additional research and perhaps reschedule the appointment when he felt he was better prepared.

There were ways to work around it I feel that were more honest than going through the motions of the therapy for therapy’s sake.  It wasn’t cheap by any means, and while I don’t begrudge someone earning a living, when I think how much I paid to essentially close my eyes while someone talked to me, it’s frustrating.

So, while I know it’s early days and maybe in time I’ll see changes, at this point in time the only change I see to my immensely stressed, anxious, and depressed body is nausea.

 

 

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